Last nite I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where on earth is my roof?
---
Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!
---
Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate.2 have & 2 hold.4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes.in text messaging & in poor signal.til low battery do us part?
---
I am in seventh heaven, the other six do not want me.
---
I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.
---
Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.
---
Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
---
Teachers help you with problems that you would not have if they were not there.
---
That is how a triatlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.
---
What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.
---
I said no to drugs, but they did nog listen!
---
I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.
---
If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!
---
A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise ...
---
I started out with nothing... and I still have most of it!
---
Mistakes have been made, others will be punished.
---
| God made butter god made cheese god made you for me to squeeze god made whiskey god made pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!
---
Like a rose withers, so is our relationship withering ...
---
The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrian creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.
---
Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !
---
girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!
---
If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
---
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
---
Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car ! !
---
Theres an urgent meeting in the jungle! Everyones there.. lions, tigers, cheetas and ape, but the meetin cant start because the monkey is reading this text
---
We do have to go to school ... Have to is force ... Forcing is slavery .... Slavery is forbidden ... SO ... we do not have to go to school!
---
As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.
---
I'm not as dumb as you look.
---
Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them...
---
When my father broke in to my mother I had to sit there for months!
---
Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
---
|